no concrete plans yet, mind!
but, i just had this convo with DH a few hours ago.
i was telling him about meeting hayley today (loved it H!) and how a high needs child can grow into a manageable child and allow the family to have a second child..
and how, for me to have this option for the future, is a dear and cherished and important thing.. even maybe a sort of dream.
and he said "of course. i definitely want to have another child"; and i fell backwards in a startled surprise.
you see, i'd gotten the firm impression that he was "done at one", given the great costs and devastation that dandan's exacted in our lives (only to replace it with great wonderment and delight, of course, but still..), especially his having "lost his wife" as he often puts it.
and he'd often expressed concern that he didn't think we could cope... etc.
and it was a bit of a sticking point for me, in our relationship... i'd come to view him as a sort of killer of precious dreams, the wet blanket to my vision of crunchy mamahood ("but you need so much time alone?...", "but i want to live near the city..").
anyway, it was great... he explained that, yes, dandan is quite a challenge, but also that he's simply never met anyone as sparkly and amazing and special as dandan, and that he is such a surprise especially as he grows up.. to see his amazing personality emerging, and a real specialness...
of course, we're biased... but i reckon lots of people have pointed out his superlatives as well =).
and i need a thesaurus =)
so, yay, in maybe 6 years? (or 2, hopefully), dandan will have reached this whole new grownup level of not needing me as much and being much more regulated in his emotions etc.... and i can have me another BABY!
i hope it's a boy just as much as i hope it's a girl..
tonight dandan and i hung out with his dolly baby (called Baby), and i taught him how to soothe a crying baby (he can pat pat, hug, rock, put it to MY breast, poke it in the eye, and say "sleep, sshhh")
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2 comments:
Gosh Jacynth, I would love to chat IRL about this sort of stuff!
I wanted to say *yeah* for your hubby coming round to the idea of another child. I also wanted to say, that sometimes by *having* another child, it helps the first child to be a bit less "needy" because they are forced to sort of, oh, I don't know how to say this without sounding bad, kind of not be the center of attention as much and have to be kind of "less" high needs, does that make sense?
I guess I say this to say, don't wait *too* long to have that second child, or the first could have very well decided that he likes being an only child, and feel quite put out (all kids feel this way to an extent of course).
Remember, even with a 3 or 4 year gap, DanDan will be at kinder some of the time, (unless you are homeschooling) and having a little bit of his own independant life, as well as giving you some uninterrupted time with the baby.
YEAH and excitment on the possibility of a new baby - I love new babies!
I just caught up on a few posts, and want to say HUGS and I'm glad that despite all the bleakness, you can envisage a time when things will be different. Different enough even for another bubba - who will most likely be very different from dandan. xx
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