some little tears

sometimes i miss things so much i feel a literal heartache.
i miss old friends....

a couple of years back, when i was really really active in church (like my church community was all the community i had), we had a little bible study group, 5 women all up, and we became incredibly close, sharing everything and anything, and talking and laughing and eating chocolate for hours; some weeks we'd get together every few days. and we loved each other dearly.

we still love each other now, but our lives simply moved us on, as people got married, moved away, had children(!).. we simply aren't in that phase of life where we can really walk together in life, as it were, merely keep in touch.

it was just such a lovely time... and i feel grief for the passing of it.
my heart is not made to let go of loved ones, it does not understand the concept of seasons and a time for everything, it does not stop loving.