ovulating-time nesting

i'm so sure i'm going through or starting a fertile phase.
did you read that so called research on women?, when observed without knowing what was being observed, paid much more attention to their outfit and appearance during their ovulating phase than otherwise.. obviously that primitive peacocking to invite potential mates to give us a baby.

anyway, here are the signs:
- my mind is packed with circular obsessive incredibly trivial thoughts (all this shopping bizzo, my hair, my clothes, the fine scratches on my glasses, dandan's bad haircut (DH did it quickly, so now he has a blunt high fringe, grr)).
(i have had the occasional non-trivial thought.. today i wrote an email to the dr phil show who's doing a show on homebirth).

(dandan says: q2wqqqqqqzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzg; all while boobing)

- my stomach is gigantic. it's as it was at 4 or 5months of pregnancy, firm and round even, disproportionate to the rest of me which is fairly normal sized (though i'm definitely a bit chubbier in my key areas). it's the fluid retention, i get that with ovulation.
hence the clothing obsessions. how does one dress to hide a pregnant belly? how very grace kelly.

strangely, this little tummy of mine makes me feel a bit misty eyed and sentimental. i spend a lot of time standing there caressing it, pushing it out, smoothing my shirt over it and pushing my waistband below it.. rubbing it and looking in the mirror (ooh i'm showing already! my little baby inside..)

it's highly disturbing... i suppose it's a form of ovulation-time nesting.

- and the most troubling, is that i start again considering what kind of partner i could be with instead. i imagine the characteristics this imaginary partner might have, flesh him out with notes taken from hearing other women speak of their partners (the good and the bad), and wonder if i'd be happier and better with someone very different to what i have.
i've always done this... hence the trouble we've always had in our relationship.
i feel he's great, really appreciate all that he is and does, and i like the kind of life we have, plus he's a great dad to our boy... but.. some part of me feels sure that i've had to shut down many parts of who i am, over time, just because they didn't fit with this person or this relationship. i feel like i would be more with someone completely different, more of who i intrinsically was, maybe.
which is why i'm just ignoring our relationship right now, cos now that i have dandan who makes me so happy and brimming with so much love, i just can't be bothered making all that effort to sustain our lacklustre relationship right now.