red tent musings

*look away if bothered by talk of menstruation*

my funny little red tent musings late at night =)

it's really cool lying beside my baby, while my uterus cramps gently.
gazing at my beautiful child next to me while feeling twinges in the very place he was made and grown and held within me!

it's funny huh, periods. they seem so much more meaningful now. they represent a baby i'm not having. i'm so aware that this blood was meant to have nourished a baby's beginning, so much richer and more meaningful than circulatory blood, being endometrium etc..

also i forgot how vulnerable i feel during periods? after 2 years of not having them, i seem to have felt invincible in contrast to how i feel now. as if.. i really couldn't defend myself against a wild animal, now, while ovulating and menstruating etc etc. whereas as a breastfeeding mother..?

it's just so cool, having a period after becoming a mother, it feels so different from before. so full circleish somehow. i'm so aware that he was grown from this material.. that this is mother-blood.

and being in cloth pads this time, made from the same fabrics as his nappies (and including a couple of his actual nappy boosters!), another way we're linked in this.

and washing them is so cool too; as opposed to this gross stuff that you throw away and gets smelly in the bin, now i have a bucket of clear red bordeaux liquid to rinse out. it's just so.. cool! somehow.. i love it!
it just feels like such a new phase i've never been in before

NB: previously posted elsewhere