if i were free

what sort of life WOULD you choose, if you had no history or baggage and were just who you are now and who you could be? if the only person you shaped your life and yourself for, was yourself? if you were free to do anything, no obligations, no fears, no judgements.

…

i *would* have tatts. my peacock over my arm. a hot air balloon somewhere (middle upper back?), vintage, of many colours, that lives above and beyond everything worldly.

a wardrobe full of colour and whimsy.

i would have a garden, rich and full of now-and-future-food, that can look after itself apart from my nurturing it every few days.

lots of time with my children, in the sunshine. around other mothers with big hearts and gentle open arms.

working together with other people, building something good together, significant even if small, and world-changing in its own way.

friends who really knew me, who i could come to with an open heart and find the same.

…and a heart that was free.

these fears bind me in every way and keep me from everything good.