working motherhood

i started work today (a one day a week gig). i didn't like it. as in, i didn't like being a working mom.
the work was ok, and nice environment..
but - so many times during the day, i found myself thinking - i can't believe i'm doing THIS mundane meaningless stuff, when i could be raising and shaping a human being, loving and being loved with a multitude of toothy heart-splitting grins and enthusiastic smacker kisses, and spending time with the most charming and delightful person i could ever know.

but i suppose to get monetary payment on top of all this sweetness, would just be too much to reasonably ask.

*but it was restful not having anyone shout at me all day long, for a change.

after all, motherhood is like working for the most demanding and obscenely unreasonable boss in the world, 12 hours a day (that's minus nap times), on call overnight every night, and no pay.
at the same time, it's like being head over heels in love for the first time.

anyway. with today's income, i bought a juicer. a "living juice extractor". i intend to get my RDI of veg and fruit (plus the accumulated debt from the last 25 years) that way, and finally stop drinking bloody ribena.
i'm thinking.. apple and beetroot. or apple and grape. strawberry and pineapple.
plus i can make my own lean mince.

on another note; note to self:
what i need, is to remind myself that my heart is warmed, and my spirits kept up, by being around mothers who look at their children with a fierce delight and tenderness and pride, who know there's nothing better than the joy of your child, and nothing higher than the journey of parenting.
and who will help to remind you of those, *when your spirits are low and your soul is tired and your heart feels envious and angry.*(which happens daily)

my heart is warmed by the camaraderie of loving mothers.

NB: previously posted elsewhere